An ode to Sridevi, the Legend of Indian Cinema – RIP Chandni #SuperBloggerChallenge #Instacuppa

Last night while surfing Facebook, I came across a shocking post about Sridevi’s demise. I immediately googled this keeping fingers crossed and praying that it was just a hoax. But, my heart broke when I realised that it was not a rumour and Ms. Hawa Hawai had actually flew with the air.

She wasn’t my family, she wasn’t a friend, she wasn’t an acquaintance but she was someone who had such an impact on me that today I find myself in a pool of tears.

I have grown up seeing her movies and whirling on her songs. Her beauty and dance moves always left me awwing at her and wondering how can she be so flawless in everything. One diva of 80-90s who could challenge the actresses of today in fashion trends, style, acting skills, dance and magnetic looks. For me, she was the epitome of beauty, elegance and glory of the Indian Cinema. She challenged patriarchy and proved that a female protagonist alone is capable enough of giving blockbuster movies.

She was the first actress whom I recognized. I still remember the song “Main nagin tu sapera” which I used to sing, at an age of 4 years, like “Mai naaa gintu sapera”. My first dance performance on stage on her song “mere hatho me nau nau choodiyan hain” copying her in every possible moves. But who could have ever copied her style, her unbeatable expressions and mesmerising eyes? I always loved dancing on “morni baga ma”, “hawa hawai” followed by a long list. So so many memories and she being a vital part in all of them.

Be it the innocent charming girl in Lamhe or absolute delight in Mr. India, the bubbly character in Chaalbaaz or those speaking eyes in Sadma. Enchanting beauty and elegance in Chandni or sheer poetess in Khuda Gawah and after almost a decade and half break, what an outstanding comeback in English Vinglish – she justified them all and left us speechless with her enthralling charm everytime.

Really saddened as this Legend is no more. Her sudden demise has left me pondering upon many questions:

She was a diet conscious person, never relied on junk food. She was a fitness freak and used to exercise few hours daily. She had all the luxuries of life. Had no history of  stroke. Then why cardiac arrest? Was she not at peace? Was she not happy? Was she stressed? Was the ever smiling face had a hidden grief within? These questions will also be buried with her. The only fact remains that a husband lost his wife, daughters lost their mother and our Nation lost a brilliant talent.

This fateful incident again reminds us about the fragility and unpredictability of life. Life is short, there’s no time for holding grudges. Be with the people whom you love and who love you back. Do what gives you happiness, eat what satisfy your taste buds, celebrate life everyday. I’m not advocating an unhealthy lifestyle here just reminding not to be hard on yourself.

Celebrities look like stars to us but they are also subjected to the same uncertainties of life, same game of Nature – unsure to witness the next beautiful morning.

RIP gorgeous, you will surely be missed. Thank you for all the awesome memories. This was indeed a SADMA (trauma) for us – an irreparable one!

 

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“Note: This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge2018 conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com, Fashinablefoodz.com, Allaboutthewoman.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge2018 is not responsible for any kind of infringement caused.”

 

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Days you make me mad, ways you make me glad!!!

Dear Kids,

There are days when my patience grows thin and I lose it totally. I try hard, really hard every moment not to get mad on you but I can’t help it. It’s for your good only, I need to discipline you, you need to learn manners, sharing and loving each other. I don’t expect you to behave like well-behaved grown ups. I surely want you to live and enjoy your childhood to the fullest, do all possible mischieves that you can do and that I can’t even imagine in my weirdest dreams. I want you to play in the mud, get dirty, explore my kitchen, make the mess and make impossible possible. But at the same time, I want you not to behave like an alien and treat me as a human too. Today was surely one of those days and I was highly irritated while potty train you. I know you both had secretly planned to make your Mom crazy today by taking off your diapers and pajamas and pooping everywhere except the toilet.

And when that was not enough, you put all your toys on your poop (All this in 10 mins while I was attending a delivery boy). On top of that, while I was cleaning the mess after washing you both, I could still hear you bickering in the other room, giggling and plotting for some other master stroke.

Are you really testing my patience?

On such days, after tucking you in bed, I peek in your door and watch you sleeping with your favourite soft toy buried under your chin and your innocent face squished against your pillow. And I wonder how I could I do this to you? How could I ever get frustrated at you? All my anger vanishes and my heart melts just by a glance of yours. Just a sight of yours is enough to calm me down and all other things seem silly. You are my life lines. My stress busters.

Even when I am crabby in the morning trying to finish my tea between cracking eggs into the pan for your breakfast.  Even when you get into my blanket at night and sleep over my arm and I can’t move and I wish for few more hours of rest.  Even when you cry for no reason and run around the house with your sipper, spilling water everywhere. Even when you aren’t thankful for the food I cook for you and push it back, making faces and saying “NOOOOO”. Even then, I’d rather be here, tired, sulky but still cooking for you than anywhere else in the world.

You know I had always dreamt of having twins since college days, but I never knew God will actually listen to my prayers. You were prayed for, longed for, and wanted with all of my heart. I wouldn’t trade these moments of frustration, tiredness for anything in the entire world. I wouldn’t trade this life for the one where I was refreshed. I wouldn’t trade a second of the pain that comes with raising you up for any other life. Not even in a trillion of years I would.

I admit, I get mad. I get frustrated. I get very very upset and dead tired but I’d still pick up your toys, crayons, clothes and clean the mess endless times. You know why? Because I am the luckiest person that I get to be your Mamma. Because I’m the richest person in the entire universe to have two precious jewels around me, I am the happiest person that I get to raise you. It is my biggest joy to wake you up daily morning and singing lullaby for you every night.

I know I’m not a pro in parenting, I’m not even close to a perfect mom. I lose it, I overreact, I make big issues out of small things, I make mistakes but most importantly, I love you. I love you more than anything is this world, more than myself. My heart is all yours. I promise to love you and live for you today and tomorrow.

With lots of love, forever yours,

M for Mamma 🙂

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No I don’t need to have fair skin to look and feel beautiful. Stop Body shaming!

In this society where the criteria of beauty has always been fair skin, I also fell a victim to it. Since childhood, I have been listening to endless suggestions and comments like “Use fair & lovely regularly”, “chandan facepack is good for skin tone like you”, “besan ka ubtan will make you fair without fail, use it daily”, “You should bleach your skin” and what not. I realised people can go to any level to look fairer without giving a second thought that it might affect their skin quality because of the harsh chemicals. All they want is a beautiful, fair, glowing girl. Even the matrimonial ads say “Seeking fair girl”. You will never find dark skinned poster babies. Pregnant ladies are advised to eat some particular foods to give birth to a fair child. 
 
Being a wheatish girl, I also had developed a feeling of inferiority complex from every single person who was fairer than me. I never liked to get pics clicked in the dark or with fair people as everyone used to tell me “It will come out as black and white”, I used to choose clothes very cautiously so that I don’t look darker. I started avoiding going out in sun. People used to ask where she is gone if we were in a dark room or theatre. I used to laugh with all of them but within my heart, it was humiliating. 
 
In initial years of life, I never gave a flip about how I looked and I was a carefree girl but gradually as I grew older, I started noticing the comments of everyone, I started losing confidence. As a young girl, those silly comments had really brought me down. All those stupid things people had said hurted me to an extent that I started seeing myself in such a twisted way, the world sees me and which I would never ever wish for someone else.
 
In the quest to lighten my skin color, I tried all the beauty soaps and creams available in the market but realised nothing worked for me. I don’t blame those ubtans or products because I did not have enough patience to complete their course and wanted to get the result overnight. So, finally I discovered that all those soaps and creams might get browner with my application but they can’t do any good to me. It is when I stopped focusing on it as I knew I couldn’t do much about it. (Confession: A part of me still wanted to look fair)
But over the years, I realised it’s about the inner beauty and not the external one. To me, the most beautiful person on this Earth was my father, who was also a dark complexioned person but I had never seen more beautiful person inside out than him. After a lot of introspection, I asked myself “Do I really need to have fair skin to look beautiful? Papa is dark too but he has a heart of gold, everyone loves him. Then why do I want a white skin? Why I am running after it for years? When I treat him as my role model then why to change the way I look? Why can’t I be happy in my own skin? It is when I noticed my strengths and virtues and really started loving myself.  


Colorism is a growing disease which discriminates individuals on the basis of their complexion. We are embedded with a sick mentality that “You need to have a fair complexion to look pretty”. Indian media and Bollywood has surely added more onto this delusion by promoting more and more fairness products showcasing a girl who is not getting married because of her dark skin and when she uses such whitewashing products, she gets her prince charming OR even worse, she gets a job only after getting fair. There are many Bollywood actor and actresses with dark skin who underwent beauty treatments to become fairer setting an example for this society and promoting this fallacy.
We should learn to love people for their soul and heart which actually makes one beautiful and not the skin colour. Time takes the toll of beautiful skin, it’s gets rashes and wrinkles but internal beauty never dies. We as a society have to stop shaming people and putting them down for the things that make them unique. It could be anything – skin colour, voice, dressing sense, lifestyle anything. 
This message is for al the beautiful people out there. You are beautiful in your own way, stop seeing yourself with others eyes and believe in your inner beauty. Love yourself the way you are and the world will love you too. You can conquer the world with your uniqueness and not being fair.
Today, I happily say Yes, I’m beautifully brown!!!

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Because a Happy Mother is the key to happy family!!!

Being a Mom is not a cheesy job and when it comes to Mom of multiples, trust me it is not for the faint of heart.

Every mom’s life revolves around her family only. Their schedules, their hobbies, their choices, their food and even their health. So, basically its all about them – husband, kids, in laws, pets etc etc. We try to give our best, day in and day out to cater their requirements. And in this journey, while continually striving to become superwoman, we make many sacrifices to ensure our kids and other family members have everything they need to be happy. But what about us, the sole caretakers? We ignore ourselves physically, emotionally and end up being sick and frustrated at times. Don’t get me wrong here – there is nothing more rewarding than seeing my kids growing beautifully and happily and it’s worth all the sacrifices and sleepless nights. But as a mom, we should realise that we are also important. We are that pillar of the family without which the family members will not be happy and complete. So, high time we should start taking care of ourselves too.

I don’t believe in resolutions as such as every year on second day itself, I break them so this year I called it as a”promise” to myself for taking proper care of myself, staying healthy and happy.

So, here are few changes I have adopted and can see the difference in a month itself. I have found a new version of me – a happier and healthier one. I wish I did this long before but better late than never, so here you go:

Waking up half an hour early: I used to be a night owl and never a morning person but it is rightly said “jab sar pe padti hai, sab karna padta hai”, so after marriage, like any other wife, I also started getting up relatively early but now I get up 30 mins earlier than I used to do it before a month. Morning schedule of moms in every family is jam packed, cooking breakfast, packing lunch for husband, kids, getting kids ready for school etc etc etc so again it’s about others only. Waking up half an hour early gives me some time alone with my husband, when we can sip our morning coffee together, do some yoga or exercise. I personally find this the best change I did as I feel fit and recharged for handling kids tantrums and other challenges, the day has in store for me.

Eating healthy, eating on time:  I was never a health conscious person when it comes to me. Though, I make sure I feed my family, my kids everything healthy but this rule was never applicable on me. In the quest to finish all the household chores and office stuff, I ran empty stomach frequently, munched on chips, snacks, skipped meals and kept ignoring my health. But, not anymore!!!

Now, I make sure to grab my morning tea and breakfast on time. Only eating healthy is not important, eating on time is more important. Be consistent to your routine. Eat well and on time. Add more fruits, veggies in your diet and less sugar, salt, processed food, aerated drinks. Keep yourself hydrated. You bet, you will see the difference in a month.

(Chocolate is something I am still trying to curb my craving for, but here, success seems quite far!)

Work out: I have a lean body so never felt the need to hit the gym. But now, I have started going on evening walks. Once my husband is back home from work, I make sure to get out of my nest for a brisk walk alone. To be honest, I feel so drained out by the evening that I have no energy to exercise so I go on a walk or jog sometimes. Walking on grass barefoot soothes me a lot. Those few mins of freshness leaves me like a happy soul decked up for the rest of the action packed evening. As some work out is important at some age, it serves as a stress buster too. Other options could be joining a dance class/aerobics/Zumba etc. See what best suits you.

Pamper yourself: To me makeup is just putting lipstick and kajal. But lately, I realised sometimes, it’s good to shower some love to yourself too. Replacing your 2 mins shower with a relaxing bubble bath on weekends when your husband can take care of the kids will do wonders. Book a spa session for yourself, a manicure, pedicure, facial, haircut. Buy a new dress, gift yourself flowers, drool over your favourite food and everything that makes you feel good about yourself. Why to wait for someone to pamper you, go ahead mommy, take a break.

Dress up: Make a habit of dressing up well daily even if you are home and not going out. No pajamas anymore, get yourself a new wardrobe with comfortable clothes, tees, palazzos etc. You will feel good about yourself. Take a minute out to make up your beautiful tresses instead of that old messy bun.

Go out with friends: Keeping in touch with friends after kids is not easy but a day in a month won’t harm anyone. Plan a girls out with your friends, fellow mommies, with whom you can talk your heart out, listen and relate to them without any judgments. A lunch date, shopping or just a cup of coffee together will do the job. This will make you feel you are not alone in tired mommy’s club.

Self care is not being selfish, rather it’s rewarding. These little breaks what I call as “Me time” or “Mommy time” proved to be very rejuvenating. Little changes in lifestyle can make big  differences. So mommies, take a vow and stop doing disservice to yourself and your family by ignoring yourself. Add yourself, your happiness, your health in your priority list too. Remember you are precious and your family needs you and it’s going to be a win win game in the end.

I am totally loving the changes and the new me. Please let me know your views too. Love!

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