What’s your individual contribution to stopping rapes and other crimes against women??? #Superbloggerchallenge #Instacuppa

Last few days have been quite disturbing, reading about the shameful news and brutal crimes against girls and women across the country. It has filled every woman’s heart with a fear that “I could be the next” or “What if I was at her place?”. We have become even more concerned and protective towards our daughters, mothers, sisters and secretly praying that they don’t go out at all.

Another inflaming matter to worry about is that the people don’t understand the sensitivity of the case and just whataboutering, connecting the case with other angles like religion, politics and what not. Media is sharing the old videos and photos of the Kathua victim. Think of what her parents and family must be going through while digging her pics and videos for you. For your channel, its TRP but for her family, it was their hearts which have been crushed so brutally. Isn’t it inhuman on our part? I mean a little girl had gone through the worst nightmare and you are raising such topics during the trying times. Really?

Lately, I saw a post blaming a famous Bollywood actress for the revealing clothes she was wearing during a photoshoot. People, do you still think it’s about the clothes? If nudity has anything to do with rapes then females covered in sarees, suits or even hijabs would have never been the victims. And what about these little kids? Are they exposing themselves to the pedophiles? They don’t even know the meaning of the word Rape. And if you still talk about clothing, can you please tell why we get to hear little boys being molested? YES, there had been such unfortunate cases too. In what way were they dressing up wrong? It’s all in the sick minds of the people and this dirty mentality needs to be changed and not the clothes we wear.

Even worse, there have been posts about defending the accused with vindications offered like “It was a temple with regular visitors so how can she be kept hostaged there” and “How can a father ask his son to gangrape” and other such utter nonsense. Political parties got a burning topic and are playing blame game here. They can change currency overnight but can’t bring about a robust law for the safety of females so expecting anything from them is useless. But what are we doing as an individual?

Instead of focusing on such futile matters, why don’t we start introspecting and do our bit for the society. We are shaken to the core and our system does not seem to change so it’s time for us to get up and kick some butts if anything is done wrong with us or in front of us. It’s time we should stop giving GYAN to our daughters on how to dress up, where and when to go, how to behave with the in-laws, when to marry etc. It’s time we don’t let a man touch any female in the buses or trains, no matter whether she is a known to us or a stranger. She’s a woman and that’s enough to take a stand! Its time every girl should learn self defence techniques. Its time to stop treating pink as girly and blue as virile. Its time for raising our daughters with equal feathers in her heart and stop setting boundaries for her. Its time to stop expecting your daughter in law to be a Tarla Dalal. Its ok if your Raja Beta cooks dinner if your bahu comes home late from work. Its time not to tolerate any joke or statement that puts women down. It’s time we stop saying “Ultimately, Shadi hi karni hai kya karogi aur padh likh ke” and force our daughters to get married. Its time to stop saying “Stop crying like a girl”. Its time to break the stereotypes set by our society and introduce our sons to the household chores and kitchen. Its time to educate your sons to respect females and if they cant, better be prepared for the wrath coming their way. Its time to make our sons understand that “NO is a NO”. It’s time to stop stating “Choodiyan pehen lo” as a weakness or shame. I have seen many educated, well to do families differentiating between girl and boy child. This should be stopped. The root cause of this monstrous disease is unfair and unequal “upbringing” which should be the same for both the genders.

Remember, learning starts at home only and the seeds sown in the childhood always persist in our kids minds. So, raise equally strong kids and don’t let your daughter feel in any way, she’s lesser than your son, physically or mentally. I am using my pen power to do my bit and making sure my daughters are raised as strong women of the society who would always speak up for the wrong. I am doing my bit, are you?

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Note: This article has been written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge2018 conducted by Healthwealthbridge.comFashionablefoodz.comAllaboutthewoman.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge2018 is not responsible for any kind of infringement caused.

Technology free childhood, a real struggle for today’s parents #SuperBloggerChallenge #Instacuppa

One thing which I am always thankful for is that I was grown up in the era of landline phones, cable connections, posting letters and personal relationships – the real ones. The era when technology did not take over. The era when outings meant going to parks and picnics instead of malls. The era when people used to visit friends and relatives randomly on Sundays without informing them as they did not have the luxury of mobile phones. Yes, this modern amenity was a luxury then which has turned out to be the necessity of today.  Imagining life without this little yet addictive junk box today seems terrifying. It’s like the best companion to us everywhere even bathroom. It has replaced our real friends into facebook / online friends, our diaries into phone contact list, letters to e-mails, phone calls to whatsapp voice notes, feelings and emotions to facebook status.

Now don’t guess my age while reading this post and treat me as a pensioner, I’m still in my sweet 30’s, just missing the good old days and sad about the fact that I won’t be able to give my kids the same atmosphere in which I have been raised – a gadget free childhood.

No matter how hard we try, it’s impossible today to keep the children away from technology. The moment they are born, they are exposed to cell phones, groupfies, selfies (of course taken by parents). And gradually to make our lives easier, we make them watch cartoons on tablets so that we can finish our chores and get some breathe. They get glued to screen and parents become happy to get sometime for themselves and this is how their daily dose of screen time rockets up.

I have seen kids as young as 2 years, well acquainted with ipads, laptops, mobile phones and what not. At the age of playing with blocks, crayons, legos, they own their personal tablet and operate it with such confidence that can amaze anyone. Parents have their own vindication “It’s the competitive world and kids have to be smart since childhood”. They find pride in highlighting this talent of their kids to the society.

If I talk about myself, I learned computers in my school computer lab when I was in class 5-6th or even later. I know it won’t be reasonable if I start comparing our lives with that of our children as it’s altogether a generation gap and things have changed significantly in the last few years but I can’t deny the fact that technology has snatched the innocent and golden period of life from our kids. Poor babies, they don’t even realise it.

I feel sad that they will never be able to experience the joy of playing in the park, those unstructured, imaginative games, with friends, without getting lured to return home and sit on their PlayStation.

They will never have the craze of TV like we had and used to wait for our favourite programs like Jungle Book, Rangoli, Mahabharat as they can watch their favourite shows on Internet anytime.

They will not value the resources like TV, phones, radio as we used to have just one set in the entire huge family and everyone used to wait for their turn to watch their shows, make calls via landline or even listen to their channel on radio.

They won’t understand the fun which we had while checking the cordless phone’s coverage by taking it to terrace or other farther areas.

They will not understand the essence of relationships and family get togethers. Now the wishes are exchanged on Facebook, WhatsApp and presence is marked even by going live.

They will know postmen only for the rarest of rare speed posts or delivering their passports and not for the handwritten much awaited letters which had so many emotions hidden.

They won’t get to feel the excitement we had when we used to impatiently wait to see our pictures clicked by cameras and films were given to photographers to develop. They will miss the fun of guessing the pics by seeing their negatives.

Not sure if they will ever refer a dictionary for their vocabulary doubts as Internet serves the purpose well.

They will not be able to experience the moments lazing around, basking under the sun in winters and sleeping at the terrace in summer nights.

They won’t get the joy of playing on the terrace with cousins when there were power cuts in summers and generators were for only a few rich people.

I can’t deny that I let my kids watch cartoons or I have devoided them of screen totally but I have set a limit to it. There are a few ways I divert my little ones from screen, which you can also try:

  • Get down on the floor and involve with them in activities like playing, singing, dancing.
  • Inculcate a habit of reading. Read stories with them while enacting and explaining. They will copy and learn.
  • There are many activity and craft games available in the market which help kids learn and grow.
  • Beads can be a good option to keep them busy for hours and they will become more creative.
  • Many puzzles are available in the market for all age groups which will help them use their minds and have some brainstorming sessions.
  • Lego challenge is a family fun activity in my home.
  • Painting or coloring books is another creative activity which kids will love.
  • Introduce them to the kitchen gradually, ask them to lend a helping hand in peeling green peas, boiled potatoes or even dressing salad.
  • Encourage them to do household chores depending on their age. My little ones (2.5 years) find pride in doing everything on their own, keeping their dirty clothes in washing machine, unloading the washing machine and putting the clothes on dryer, keeping their dirty dishes in the sink, putting their toys in place after playing, tidying the room before going to bed etc. This will not only keep them active but also make them independent.
  • Go on a walk or enroll them in hobby classes like music, dance, language, swimming, robotics etc.
  • Kids love bubble play, it comes to my rescue when nothing else helps.
  • Many a times, there are meltdown moments also but let them get bored. This way, they will try to explore new things and figure out the way to overcome their boredom.
  • Lastly, remember while you try to limit kids screen time, you have you set an example infront of them by limiting your usage too. Kids need models not preachers.

I am neither a pro in parenting nor I believe in any universal parenting rules. However, this is just my perspective, that I have offered on this subject which many of us ignore. While it may be natural to seek for our children, a childhood reminiscent of our own, we can’t overlook that our society is evolving and with it, the childhood. Rapidly advancing technology and a changing atmosphere will result in a different experience for our kids and in the generations to come. We, as a parent, have to decide what kind of childhood we wish to give to our juniors – a gadget free or gadget freak.

Note: This article has been written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge2018 conducted by Healthwealthbridge.comFashionablefoodz.comAllaboutthewoman.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge2018 is not responsible for any kind of infringement caused.

Thank you God for unforgettable last five months with Papa!

Pouring my emotions and penning down this blog wasn’t easy but sometimes, venting out your feelings is the best catharsis. I wrote it with a heavy heart, teary eyes and shaking hands but as it is said, “Life goes on”, I also have to move on and face the saddest reality of life. I can scream, I can rant, I can get angry on destiny but I can’t flee from the truth.

When my daughters were 4 months, my husband shifted to another country and joined his new job. I was supposed to join him after few months as kids were too small and I needed help. That was the time, I got a chance to live with my parents for such a long time after a decade, as I left my home city after graduation, for PG, then job and finally got married so all of us were thrilled to live together again and this time it was even special as I had my double edi (addi) tion with me.

I was the closest to my father since childhood and quite a pampered and loved daughter. We shared a beautiful bond of silence. He was a man of few words still I could always sense his emotions through his expressions, smile or even his silence, I inherited this from him only as he was a great observer. The most grounded and amazing person I have ever met with a heart of gold, healthy sense of humour, epitome of simplicity, ever ready to help the needy secretly without an inch of show off.

We were a middle class family and Papa was in a Government job who grew up to a decent level through his dedication, honesty and hard work. I remember him narrating us the stories about how he traveled long distances to his office on a bicycle in the initial years of his job. He was transferred to other cities far from home for many years and couldn’t take care of his diet and eating habits. This took a toll on his health and he was diagnosed with diabetes at an early age of 35 only. We were little kids then, unaware about this poison and how it could ruin our happiness. Years later, it affected his liver and he was diagnosed with chronic liver disease. I went to stay with them in March 2016 end and we had the best moments together till June when he fell sick one day and immediately had to get hospitalised. Since then, his health kept declining and he finally left for his heavenly abode in August end just a week after I left for Delhi with my husband.

I’m thankful to God for all those moments that I had spent with Pa in those five months.

I’m thankful to God that I could take him for shopping where he tried a few shirts very joyfully like a kid and picked up three.

I’m thankful to God that I could dine with him at a newly opened restaurant in our city where he had a scrumptious meal of Dal Bati instead of the boring Oats and boiled food that we used to feed him daily. Seeing him relishing food after a long time was highly satisfactory.

I’m thankful to God that I could celebrate my birthday, Pa’s birthday and Father’s Day with him and baked my first ever cake for him. I’m thankful to God for letting me tie Rakhi to Pa one last time on Raksha Bandhan. Though my thread wasn’t strong enough to save him.

I’m thankful to God that we could celebrate kids monthly birthdays and then half yearly birthday with Pa when he didn’t leave any stone unturned to make it the way I wanted. He enjoyed immensely the cake smashes done by the kids.

I’m thankful to God for all the drives Pa used to take us out immediately after coming back from the office, despite having long tiring days.

I’m thankful to God that Pa could pamper me after so many years, daily by calling from office and asking what I wished to eat. The days I used to say “Kuch bhi le ayiyega Pa”, he used to get upset so I always had a special demand which pleased him the most.

I’m thankful to God for all the evening walks and endless talks we had during my stay.

I’m thankful to God that I could serve Pa during his last few days, accompany him during his hospital stays and had few precious father-daughter moments.

I’m thankful to God for giving Pa, the joy of playing with his grandchildren.

I’m thankful to God for all the smiles and laughter filled moments we had together.

I’m thankful to God that I was able to see the real, behind the mask faces of people during these months.

People say the fate is destined and the journey of one’s life is pre determined but I never used to believe in all this until I lost Pa. Today, when I look back, it seems like it was actually a plan of God that my husband relocated to another country, I went to my parents and could spend the best moments with them. I’m thankful to God for planning the things such way.

These things may sound trivial to you all but it means the biggest asset to me which I treasure the most.

Through this blog, I also want to share a message with the readers that never take your parents for granted. Never disconnect their calls, even if you are busy, take the call and inform. Never leave things for tomorrow as it never comes. If you want to do something for your parents, be it taking them out for a movie or lunch or a vacation or anything you feel might give them happiness, do it today. Give your time to them and express your love as much as you can. Parents are irreplaceable and the loss is irrevocable. Their absence hurts, it fills your life with a vacuum which can never be filled. The feeling of never been able to see them, meet them, feel them, touch them, hear them rips you apart and you can just groan. Instead of regretting in front of their photographs later, make memories today.

Those five months were indeed a blessing in my life full of mixed emotions. Where on one hand, there was happiness in abundance, on the other hand there was a fear of his deteriorating health. Though I have a lot of grudges in my heart that the Almighty took away Pa so early but I am thankful to Him for letting me spend the last few days with him which I will cherish whole of my life.

I don’t want readers to feel sorry for my loss because I don’t feel it that way, my connection with Pa is getting stronger everyday & I feel immensely blessed and proud to be his daughter even more. I am thankful to God for fixing our meetings often in dreams.
Note: This article has been written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge2018 conducted by Healthwealthbridge.comFashionablefoodz.comAllaboutthewoman.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge2018 is not responsible for any kind of infringement caused.